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Stupid Drunk Breaks Into A Zoo To Ride A Crocodile

admin — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 19:07:38 +0000

Being a drunk mess may cause you to do a lot of stupid crazy things. Just add breaking into a zoo and attempting to ride a full size crocodile to the list of stupidest things people do when under the influence. Crazy, drunk, Australian Michael Newman had to be in denial that the party was over when he was ejected from the bar. Fatso was like “get off my back with that stupid mohawk. I’m a grown ass croc.” Michael was definitely lucky to walk away from this drunken incident.

Women Who Ran Out On Waffle House Bill Leave Purses Behind

admin — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 05:23:48 +0000

Three women determined to skip out on a $39 Waffle House check, dashed out the door so fast that they forgot two of their purses. The manager locked the purses in his office and then called police. Before police arrived one of the women returned to the scene of the crime and demanded her purse back. The manager disclosed to the alleged food thief that he had notified police and again she dashed out of the door. The police arrived after the woman had left and took custody of the purses in which they found identifying documents and another check from a Waffle House in Arkansas. It was alleged by the manager that the offenders were obviously drunk and high. Charges are yet to be filed and it was alleged by

Where do you start with this one. Which one is more stupid, leaving the purses behind, coming back to get it, or repeatedly running out on a waffle house bill?

Geriatric Women Attempt To Bus A Cap In Each Other Over 72-Year-Old Man

admin — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 16:52:32 +0000

A 72-year-old man is at the center of some Big Mama Drama that involved Edith Mitchell, 78, and another 73-year-old woman who claimed to be dating the same man. Mitchell alleges that the other woman, from this point we will call her Madea, approached the car that she was sitting in with her man of two years and assaulted her.

“She came up and grabbed me out and said ‘that’s my man,’” Mitchell alleged. “She said, ‘Hey Bitch, you with my man, get out of that car.”

According to police reports the Madea started striking Mitchell in the face with her fists. Mitchell said she went into her home and got her gun, but Madea took it from her and pulled the trigger, misfiring. Madea claims it was Mitchell who did the misfiring.

Mitchell claims she is too old for this shit. No do you think so? If this is the example our elders set, the world is doomed.

Man Arrested For Trying To Calm His Cat By Smoking Him

admin — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 20:14:10 +0000

A Nebraska man is facing charges of animal cruelty and PETA is blowing up his phone after he tried to calm down his hyper-active cat. How did he do it? He stuffed his 6 month feline into the home made bong pictured above. Acea Schomaker added some marijuana and proceeded to light and smoke that kitty. Neighbors who allegedly witness the event called police to the scene. Officers who responded and rescued Shadow described how the cat stood motionless until they reached the animal hospital. It seems that Acea Schomaker’s tactic to overwhelm his kitten with a concentrated dose of contact succeeded in calming her down. It is reported that the cat is timid but in good condition. As for Mr Schomaker, he has been charged and levied a fine. There is no word on if he secured a lawyer in his defense.

Can You Find The Hidden Hottest Mess In This Picture

admin — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 23:22:53 +0000

Here’s a hint: Someone just got done working on a little stimulous package of their own and left it where the groceries should be.

Happy New Year!!!

Staff Writer — Thu, 01 Jan 2009 06:00:29 +0000

Happy New Year from everybody at HottestMess.com. Don’t get caught in some mess in 2009 or our next post could be about you or your picture could be here.

Bank Robber Gives Teller Threatening Note On Pay Stub

Staff Writer — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 01:36:01 +0000

Between a fellow who is stupid and honest and one who is smart and crooked, I will take the first. I won’t get much out of him, but with that other guy I can’t keep what I’ve got.
-Gen Lewis B Hershey, Director, Selective Service System

Be Quick. Be Quit. Give your cash or I’ll shoot.
-Stupid bank robber’s note to teller, written on his paystub

The FBI arrested a man at his Carey Illinois home after he left a threatening note written on his pay stub at the Chicago bank he allegedly robbed. Luckily for the bank, this fool’s attempt to recycle paper led them directly to him because the pay stub contained his name and address. There is no word about the $400 dollars he made off with or whether he secured a lawyer.

The economy is bad. We should give this guy the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the pay stub doubled as an excuse note so the teller would understand his motive.

Deranged Man Monster Trucks His Wife’s Car While She And Kids In It

admin — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 15:07:43 +0000

Police in Hornbrook, Oregon says Tony Devere Parkinson, seen here in the photo, was arrested this week after he reportedly drove a full-size Dodge pickup onto the hood of his former wife’s car, with the woman and two teenagers inside.

He’s also accused of screaming at her and threatening to kill her, throwing a large rock at her, and trying to ram her car again before he finally left.

He got away in a U-Haul truck driven by another woman. They were eventually stopped and arrested by a deputy after a chase. The woman is charged with possessing drug paraphernalia.

What could she have done to drive him to this kind of insanity? Also take a good look at his mugshot. You can see the creepy interruption in his eyes. If looks could tell; he definitely did it.

Happy Hottest Mess Turkey Day

Staff Writer — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 22:06:12 +0000

Stay Out of the Mess This Holliday. From all of us at HottestMess.com

The Hot Mess On The Toilet Seat

admin — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 14:09:22 +0000

You know those times when you are away from the comfort of your home and a sudden urge to drop a big one overwhelms you. You first try to withstand the volcanic bubbling and intense abdominal pain hoping to postpone this major evacuation until you return to the comfort of your own throne. Then you realize there is no delaying the inevitable. You pull over to the nearest fast food restaurant or gas station to relieve this unbearable pressure. You begin to dread the discomfort of an unsanitary public restroom or the potential embarrassment of a loud anal explosion. But what the hell, this shit can’t wait. Feverishly you burst through the bathroom door and check for an open stall. Finding one, you quickly undo your pants and take a seat. Ahhhh; you breath a sigh of relief as you air out whats left of that Taco Bell you ingested earlier. You then realize that in the heat of the moment you forgot to wipe off the toilet seat. It doesn’t matter though because it sure felt good to get rid of the extra weight. Then acknowledging the stench you go for a courtesy flush and realize you are stuck to the toilet seat. You desperately try to free yourself but all attempts to do so are unsuccessful. You relax and try to figure out what is the best way out of this situation. After too much time has passed by you realize your only option is to reach into the pockets of your fallen pants to get your cell phone to call for help.

Could you imagine that 911 call? Oh the embarrassment! Believe it or not, something like this may have happened yesterday to a man who found himself stuck to a stainless steel toilet in a public bathroom in England. Firefighters were unable to free the man so they rushed him and the commode to the hospital. Doctors had to climb into the ambulance and use chemicals to separate the man from the seat. The toilet was returned to the bathroom. Authorities say the 35 year old may have been the victim of a prankster.

Moral of the story: Make sure you wipe before you sit that ass down.

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