HottestMess.com » weird stories

What A Crazy: Reading The Bible To His Kidnapped Victim Handcuffed In A Diaper

admin — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 00:46:01 +0000

A man held a woman captive in handcuffs and an adult diaper for three days while he read Bible passages to her, police said. The woman, Shykea Boykin, escaped while her said to be kidnapper slept and banged on neighbors’ doors until the cops came.

Remember the intro to the song Method Man off the Wu-Tang Clan album “Enter The Wu-Tang: 36 Chambers“. where Raekwon, Method Man, Ghostface Killah, and U-God competed to see who could come up with the craziest torture method. Well Troy Brisport, featured in the mugshot, would have blown them out of all the chambers. I could hear him now.

“I’ll fuckin, I’ll fuckin kidnap you and handcuff you to the bed. Strip you down naked and put you in some Depends for like a whole week and shit. And while you there starvin, pissin’, and shitin on yourself, I’ll just keep readin and readin and readin the Holy Word of God. Now thats Torture.”

Goat Arrested In Car Jacking

Staff Writer — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 06:39:39 +0000

A supposedly respectable news source is reporting that a goat was arrested on Friday when witnesses told police that one of two suspected car thieves transformed into a goat after being cornered by “vigilantes”. The other suspect is reported to have eluded capture but the vigilant group quickly apprehended the goat and brought him to police.

Take a wild guess where this wacky and hard to believe story took place. No, not in Narnia! How about Kwara State, Nigeria. The alleged suspect is said to be in the above photo. Look at him. Is that the face of a criminal. The suspect remains in police custody. No word on whether an attorney was secured for his defense. Hottest Mess will issue updates if there are any changes in the suspects shape.

Supposedly Respectable Source

These Are Hard Times. How About A Value Wedding At Taco Bell

Staff Writer — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 17:52:04 +0000

Goodbye to an expensive Vegas elope and say hello to a cheap ass value wedding at Taco-Bell. Spicy wedding bells rang at the local Taco Bell for Paul and Caragh Brooks who met online and finaly decided to tie their stomach ,uhmm, i mean tie the knot after nine months of phone conversations. Paul moved to the United States from Austrailia to be with his bride to be. With a cheap ass $15 dollar Walmart Special dress, a friend who was ordained to be a minister online, and non catered value meals off Taco Bell’s menu the total cost of the wedding came to a wopping $200. Now thats being frugal and modern at the same time. Online dating, an online degree in theology, and a fast food wedding, there ain’t nothing like the information age.

Burger King Body Spray Might Get You Axed or Mauled

Staff Writer — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 08:39:13 +0000

By now the world has heard that the fast food giant Burger King has released Flame, their new line of body spray. The thought of a body spray created by Burger King invokes thoughts of a scene from Animal Planet and and an Axe commercial. The scene probally would be scripted with something different than Boom Chika Wah Wah.

Daily Hot Mess: Stupid Man Attemps To Clean House With A Blow Torch

Staff Writer — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 17:23:41 +0000

This is literally a hot mess. Some guy in Georgia, probably with the IQ of an inbred, decides to do some fall cleaning with a blowtorch. Galen Winchell set fire to his west Georgia home Wednesday as he cleaned cobwebs from exterior eaves with a blowtorch. This idiot noticed the blaze when he saw smoke pouring from the attic. Surely high temperature is good for killing nasty germs but would-be cleaners take note: A blowtorch is not a good substitute for a broom or hot water. Luckily the house was not burned to the ground.